tracheal resection, day 4 and 5
It has been a rough couple of days.
I am starting to feel really sorry for myself, which I really don't want to do. But I am starting to experience a great deal of pain in my neck and upper back (understandable), and when you couple that with horrible sleep, being forced to keep a record of urine output, and all the poking and prodding that goes on around the clock in a hospital...I am just kind of over it.
My kids came to visit me yesterday. I was finally moved out of ICU and into a standard room on the 9th floor, so Charlotte was able to wear a mask and visit me (she's sick). It was tough because I had to find a good balance between wanting to snuggle my babies (whom I hadn't seen since Monday), and wanting to keep them at a distance because I really cannot risk getting any kind of flu or head cold.
Nothing would stop the healing of my airway like consistent coughing or vomiting. Lol.
It was good to see them, though. They brought me flowers and had a ton of questions. And even though they were only here for about four hours, their visit totally wore me out. :p
Last night was really difficult. I couldn't find a comfortable position to rest in (my bed has been ordered at a 30 degree angle, down from 45, which is nice), and I just didn't feel right the entire night. I vacillated between whimpering in pain, and being upset because I was just so uncomfortable.
My neck hurt.
My throat hurt.
My head hurt.
My ears hurt.
In ICU, I was like a teenager with no curfew. Once I had been moved to "floor status," they didn't care where I was, or what I was doing. Here on the floor, they are literally in my room every single hour--taking vitals, taking blood sugar, giving blood thinner shots, dosing me with nebulizers, checking blood. Blahhhhhh. If I disconnect something to go to the bathroom, they come running in to make sure I am ok.
I just want to make it stop.
Or go back to ICU, hahahaha.
But despite having a rough night, I am feeling better.
The surgeon came in this morning and removed the tape and bandage over my neck sutures--it was literally the scariest shit I have ever experienced. He took no mercy on me, and my karma from all the times I ripped bandaids off my kids' knees totally came to haunt me in that moment--he walked in and before he so much as said, "Good morning!" he was ripping the tape.
I was traumatized. Lol.
(I actually still kind of am.)
But it was a good thing because that tape was starting to bunch up and really cause a lot of irritation on my skin. Now my sutures are being held in place by steri strips that the surgeon feels will likely fall off in another 10 days or so.
He is predicting I will be back in the OR on Wednesday to do a bronchoscopy and make sure my airway has healed up. If it has, they will cut the chin strip, and send me home.
FINGERS CROSSED.
Wednesday seems so far away, and yet my white board says, "THREE MORE DAYS! YOU CAN DO IT!!"
I can totally do three more days, right!?
I am starting to feel really sorry for myself, which I really don't want to do. But I am starting to experience a great deal of pain in my neck and upper back (understandable), and when you couple that with horrible sleep, being forced to keep a record of urine output, and all the poking and prodding that goes on around the clock in a hospital...I am just kind of over it.
My kids came to visit me yesterday. I was finally moved out of ICU and into a standard room on the 9th floor, so Charlotte was able to wear a mask and visit me (she's sick). It was tough because I had to find a good balance between wanting to snuggle my babies (whom I hadn't seen since Monday), and wanting to keep them at a distance because I really cannot risk getting any kind of flu or head cold.
Nothing would stop the healing of my airway like consistent coughing or vomiting. Lol.
It was good to see them, though. They brought me flowers and had a ton of questions. And even though they were only here for about four hours, their visit totally wore me out. :p
Last night was really difficult. I couldn't find a comfortable position to rest in (my bed has been ordered at a 30 degree angle, down from 45, which is nice), and I just didn't feel right the entire night. I vacillated between whimpering in pain, and being upset because I was just so uncomfortable.
My neck hurt.
My throat hurt.
My head hurt.
My ears hurt.
In ICU, I was like a teenager with no curfew. Once I had been moved to "floor status," they didn't care where I was, or what I was doing. Here on the floor, they are literally in my room every single hour--taking vitals, taking blood sugar, giving blood thinner shots, dosing me with nebulizers, checking blood. Blahhhhhh. If I disconnect something to go to the bathroom, they come running in to make sure I am ok.
I just want to make it stop.
Or go back to ICU, hahahaha.
But despite having a rough night, I am feeling better.
The surgeon came in this morning and removed the tape and bandage over my neck sutures--it was literally the scariest shit I have ever experienced. He took no mercy on me, and my karma from all the times I ripped bandaids off my kids' knees totally came to haunt me in that moment--he walked in and before he so much as said, "Good morning!" he was ripping the tape.
I was traumatized. Lol.
(I actually still kind of am.)
But it was a good thing because that tape was starting to bunch up and really cause a lot of irritation on my skin. Now my sutures are being held in place by steri strips that the surgeon feels will likely fall off in another 10 days or so.
He is predicting I will be back in the OR on Wednesday to do a bronchoscopy and make sure my airway has healed up. If it has, they will cut the chin strip, and send me home.
FINGERS CROSSED.
Wednesday seems so far away, and yet my white board says, "THREE MORE DAYS! YOU CAN DO IT!!"
I can totally do three more days, right!?
You CAN do it. Thinking about you and sending healing vibes your way.
ReplyDeleteyou will get there. hang in there, chika. gotta get sprung so life can start moving forward!!!
ReplyDelete